Ask Better Questions
In the chapter called “Clarity” in his book, To Sell is Human, Daniel H. Pink urges us to: “Ask Better Questions.”
The book’s basic premise is that most of us are in the business of some form of selling: our ideas, our capabilities, our products and services — both up and down the management chain as well as to prospective customers and clients.
And, it’s more important that we foster collaboration, through a process of “selling” others on those benefits.
He approaches this kind of selling as finding a fit between capabilities on one side and needs on the other, where both sides gain benefit.
Part of this approach is achieving clarity, and a key part of that is asking better questions. Questions are evocative, and promote your relationship with others, in addition to clearly defining capabilities and needs.
Before your next difficult meeting or important conversation, he says:
1. Quickly write a list of questions; don’t think about whether they are good or what the answers are.
2. Improve your questions; change closed questions to open-ended ones that require some explanation instead of yes-no or a quantitative answer.
3. Prioritize your questions: what are the three most important for that conversation or meeting? Why are those the most important?
Years ago, I remember going to a colleague to get his thoughts on some work I was finishing. I launched into the details of what I was doing and how it would work. He stopped me in the middle and pushed back from the table.
He said, “What is your goal?”
It seemed like an annoying question; I thought it was obvious. But then I struggled to answer it clearly, and I realized that I didn’t actually have a clear goal in mind. So whatever my “solution” was, it didn’t matter until I defined the goal clearly.
That single question, years ago, often pops into my mind when I’m struggling to solve a problem: What is my goal?
It was the right question at the right time.